Albert Pujols - Contract Year is an UNDERstatement. He will play through injuries like when a guy gets a leg cramp when having sex with his girlfriend for the first time.
Hanley Ramirez - Shortstop is thinner then Nicole Richie on a 3 week 8-Ball binge.
Troy Tulowitski - Shortstop is thinner then Lindsay Lohan on a 3 week 8-Ball binge.
Joey Votto - He's too big of an asshole to have a bad year. This guy reminds me of my Dad when he comes home and finds my Mom cutting the grass instead of me.
David Wright- Mets went bankrupt? I'm assuming something good has to happen for them.
Ryan Braun - Due for a big year, had the lowest Home Run total of his 4 year career last year. He will rebound harder then Charles Barkley on the Suns in the 90's.
Carl Crawford - Carl Crawford hitting in the Red Sox lineup and short porch in left field has sexy pick written all over him. Plus he's fast, and fast is cool as shit.
Carlos Gonzalez - Can play all 3 outfield spots, hits for power and steals bases. Last year if you picked him, it was like calling a hot hooker and then her staying for an extra session, then deciding to cook you dinner and then doing your household cleaning and then forgetting to collect her money before she left.
Evan Longoria - I have him a bit lower then most people, my reasoning is this guy just gets way too much ass to concentrate only on baseball for a full 162.
Josh Hamilton - My 1st round sleeper, if he can stay healthy for a full 162 he can definitely produce TOP 10 numbers. Plus he's got the sickest tat game in the league.
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